Camping: Koch Style... Whatever happens, happens

One day Bridget declared we were all going on a girls camping trip. So Melissa, Mimi, Maria, Natalie, Sue, Bridget and I jump on our horses and rode off into the sunset to the cabin about a mile away. Camping as I remember it included tents, soggy sleeping bags (it ALWAYS rained), wieners over an open fire, peeing in the woods; you know- roughing it. Once we arrived to the cabin I saw Gilbert, one of the chefs, whipping up some quesadillas and guacamole. There was an "outhouse" with a nice toilet and shower. The cabin was rustically decorated, with quilts on the beds and barn-board refrigerator facade. I'm actually surprised there wasn't wifi, but then i remembered we were "roughing it" for the night.
After a little hike and an amazing dinner by Gilbert served to us by the wait staff, we circled up around the fire. All the staff left us alone up in the elements... for about 15 minutes. One guy showed up to try to connect the TV to the computer so we could watch a scary movie. He left with no success, and someone else showed up to work on it. Mary showed up, bringing us 3 dvd's to choose from if we couldn't get our iTunes movie to play. Eventually a computer geek came, and he determined iTunes had protected the movie from being played on a television. Later, someone's son drove up, he had driven all the way from Paonia (30 mins at 8 pm) because he had an illegally downloaded version on a flash drive we could use. Man, it sure is nice to be all alone out in the wilderness enjoying nature!! As darkness approached, another call was made- "Can you bring us some chips and champagne?" We were really roughing it.
Throughout the evening as we sat outside we could hear the coyotes in the distance. The night before, some of the boys had shot one not far from the property. Every once in awhile we'd hear them all howling, the sound getting closer and closer. Sue (she's so rugged- she climbed Kilimanjaro in a tank top) told us when you didn't hear them, they're moving, so we want to be able to hear them howling so we can know their location. "When you can't hear them, that's when you're in trouble." Melissa, the hypochondriac and scaredy cat was starting to freak out. They were definitely getting closer.
Later, as we were all getting settled into our beds (my bed is of course closes to the door, which of course i checked the locks 3 times- remember the bears?) all of a sudden we hear a bunch of noises outside the door. Melissa started freaking and I stayed right in my bed without any reaction. I grew up with brothers- it takes a lot to scare me. Sure enough it was a couple of the girls trying to mess with those of us inside.
About a half hour passes and the coyotes are getting really close. We start peeking out the windows but can't see anything. Sue opens the door and Mimi pushes her out and locks the door! Melissa starts screaming, "GET INSIDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GET INSIDE!" Once Mimi sees Sue laughing she goes outside also and as Melissa continues to scream, we realize it's Mary's husband Tom (our Town "sheriff") just messing with us. He had a howling coyotes recording that he'd been playing for over an hour, getting closer and closer to us. Melissa is relieved but on her way to a small heart attack haha.
We start watching a scary movie "The Cabin in the Woods." College kids were one by own getting killed off by zombies when we hear the noises outside of the door right beside my bed again. I'm fine, look over at the girls, and after doing a quick head count, bounce from my bed to Bridget's where Melissa, Bridget, and Maria are sitting. As I'm hopping over (like a gazelle the girls say) Mimi shines a flashlight at the window in the door and I see a huge bear head!!! I'm hoping the door is still locked as Melissa is burying her head into Bridget's shoulder saying "Whatever happens, happens!" Two seconds later we realize, once again, it's Tom messing with us. We all died laughing at Melissa's "last words". It's good to know she made her peace with dying.